As the sign says- Tasty Tottori cow! It's even licking its own lips at the thought of how tasty it is. In fact cows simply want you to eat them in Japan- look how cheap they sell themselves for! Liver- 500 yen! Tongue- 700 yen! It's cheaper and fresher than a 70 year old hooker. But I'm not so sure that they slice the cow on site... 

Has someone jumped from the top of the sand dune and left their trainers behind? Quick! Grab them! 

Ridges in the Tottori sand-dunes. Beautiful... 

GAY PRIDE! For a moment I wondered if this was literally my spiritual home, then I realised there was no pink in this rainbow. BOO! 

On the left: Nagereido as we saw it. On the right: in its full non-scaffolded glory. D'oh! Must go again next year. Oh, hang on...
It seems no one knows how the temple got to be where it is. Apparently record keeping wasn't an issue back in the old days, but I'd hazard a guess that IKEA wasn't involved. 

Burn Efi, Burn!!!

No, I am not a hater of Greeks, I just like to push my car to it's limits. Unfortunately for Efi, the lovely Daihatsu Move, or rather, unfortunately for me, those limits aren't exactly extreme. But she did struggle valiantly during last weekend's 700kilometre marathon. In a bid to fend off the annual disappointment when Eurovision season ends (a bit like the after-Christmas feeling but without the unbecoming weight-gain) I decided it was time to do something, so Adam and I went on a road trip along the northern coast.

I pride myself on having a good sense of direction, so it did feel like a slightly bad omen when I took a different route to Adam's and managed to miss the necessary turn off altogether, but pretty soon we were heading to mine, having kaiten sushi and sorting out plans for the weekend.

Saturday came and by nine o'clock we were in the car, starting our journey in what soon became torrential rain, and continuing in this fashion through the mountains of Northern Okayama, through the city of Yonago in Tottori and along lake Shinji in Matsue. This was all well and good, but it was taking hours, and most sights in Japan are time limited (temples often close at 4:30), so as it got to 12:40 we decided we'd scrap our first destination if we didn't find it in the next 20 minutes. And exactly 20 minutes later having avoided the oh-so-tempting sand museum (??) we were there, having followed a bus the last mile or so.

Stop number one was Iwami Gin-zan, an old silver mine where we were able to walk through the Ryugenji Mine shaft. That is, we were able to walk through it once we found it. It turns out Shimane prefecture is not fond of signposts. So having wandered through the rain with one umbrella we eventually found the mine and wandered through in all of 15 minutes, attempting to but not spotting any silver along the way. So it was back in the car, through the pretty town of Oomori and back on our way to a late lunch and then to destination number 2.

Izumo Taisha was our second stop for the day, and it was definitely worth it. As you come to the town where the temple is situated you pass through a giant stone Torii gate, through affluent looking streets until you come to the grounds. Izumo Taisha is the second most important shinto shrine in Japan (next to the Meiji-jingu shrine in Tokyo) and the Gods are said to meet here once a year. The buildings are beautiful and the restricted areas, which you can peak at only through fences, even more so. The grounds are covered in small pebbles and pine trees making the air fresh and the atmosphere serene. And bizarrely the birds were dive-bombing the walkways swooping from high to fly only inches above the ground on the main paths.

After the temple we stopped briefly at the local train station which has been closed since 1990 and is home to an apparently abandoned steam engine. The station is beautiful and quite a rarity it seems, being built in a classic Japanese style, rather than the Lloyd-Wright influenced style of many local stations.

Soon we were off again, back on the coast road for a three hour drive through Shimane and across Tottori into Tottori city. Discussions of course turned to dinner and when we agreed that tempura might be nice I declared (as I am prone to doing), "but you never see a dedicated tempura restaurant"). And as we left our bags and a tired Efi at the hotel I was once again proven to be wrong as the first restaurant we came to had a big, BIG poster of tempura outside. And freshly cooked delicious tempura inside which they cooked for you while you ate, bringing it in stages. Squid has never been so tender... A quick walk round the town and we retired for the evening rather tired from sitting in the car for so long.

Sunday was less of a trek. Our first stop was Tottori Sakkyu, the largest sand dune in all of Japan. And it was pretty big, although the opposite of desertification was happening and the inland side of it seemed to be growing plants. Which suggests that in a few years it will be an earth-dune. D'oh. Running down the thing was great as the wet sand supported your footfalls, but when it's dry it must be even more fun. Bizarrely the sea didn't smell of the sea. Perhaps Japan has become health conscious and the sea-salt is now of the low-sodium variety...

Our final stop for the weekend was Misasa town in Tottori, the home of the Nageiredo temple, a temple built into a mountain cave 520 metres from the base of the mountain. No one knows how. Again, having located the designated car-park we then had trouble finding where the pathway to the actual temple and after 20 minutes of wandering up paths to mini-grave sites we finally found our way. So we walked up a nice normal path to the lower area with some pretty temples and small gardens and lovely forest (the area is all mountains and forests) and eventually found the place where we were to start our climb. First we had to sign a waiver and have our shoes declared unfit for climbing (a nice sales pitch whereby we had to buy straw-and-string flip-flops for 700yen- Adam was not impressed). Then we had to put on a body-identification sash. And then we were able to start the 1-hour climb into the mountain. Which much to my relief turned into a 25/30 minute climb. Now, I'm not an experienced climber so this was hard for me, but Adam is experienced and said he'd not climbed anything like it before. Much of the climb was very steep with what felt like 70 degree angles at times, and you would have to climb up and pull yourself up tree-roots. And at points the path was maybe 2 feet wide and made of boulders with a nice big drop either side. It did confirm for me that I no longer have a fear of heights. Just a fear of a big gusts of wind... And the prize? We got to see a beautiful temple. Covered in scaffolding. D'oh. Apparently it's being restored and will be back to it's prime next year, but it was definitely good to go there and the climb was hilarious in all the wrong ways and definitely an achievement.

Now, our route had been planned to ensure that our journey home was as short as possible, and it should have taken at most an hour and a half back to mine. Except an hour into the drive we came to a section of blocked off road and a cheery Policeman who seemed quite happy while telling us that the mountain had fallen down. Again. D'oh, so after a 1 hour detour we were back for a quick cup of tea at mine before dinner and the journey back to Adam's. And feeling rather pleased with myself for managing the roads well all weekend (well, when we were driving at least) I took a wrong turning and spent 20 minutes driving round an industrial estate on the way home. D'oh. Again.

Oh. My. God. (Part 3,472)

Inappropriate times for the school PA system to switch itself on (part 1):

When you're sat next to the microphone on the phone to LeeJay recounting a recent trip to karaoke- "and the next thing I knew she was trying to put her hands up my shirt".

*Rude-word* *rude-word* *rude-word*
Am now hiding in the computer room unsure as to whether or not said phrase was broadcast or not and really, I don't want to find out. I was only explaining the dangers that lurk in spending time with groups of Japanese women and their bottles of sake...

The rockoning is upon us.

Indeed. Once again Eurovision threw up many surprises. Judging by some of the songs it was positively bulimic, spewing bile everywhere (yes Moldova, I am talking about your "effort"). The winners, however, were the entrants who had garnered immense publicity before the contest. Unfortunately it wasn't because they offended European countries or insulted other artists or had bodyguards removing journalists from press conferences for looking at them. It was in fact because when in costume they resembled Freddy Kreuger on a night out. While Silvia Night was bringing rebellion and spirit to the contest Lordi were being polite and pleasant and not very rock'n'roll at all. The Greek press, realising their precious (as in Gollum-esque) Anna Vissi wouldn't be saved by a Gaultier pirate costume, started spreading rumours that Lordi were Satanists and lobbied the Finnish contingent to have Lordi replaced as national representatives. Perhaps it was this that pushed them into the winning league. Without such publicity last year's Norwegian entrant, the rock group WigWam scored well but didn't reach pole position. But congratulations Finland, winners at last.

Elsewhere in the contest the favourites crashed and burned- Germany came 15th, Malta scored only 1 point (achieving their lowest position ever- worse than when the relatives represented them in the 70s) and Carola crashed at 5th place despite the high probablity of the second coming coinciding with her hitting the high notes at the end. It seems Jesus doesn't love Carola as much as she loves him.


Lordi release the a-rock-alypse with their "Hard Rock Hallelujah!"


Silvia Night in all her glory. The most memorable performance this year.

"I'M NOT AN UGLY F*CKING OLD BITCH FROM SWEDEN"

Silvia Night tells it like it is after not qualifying for the final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2006. The actress remained in character for the whole contest. She reportedly insulted the Greek nation. She goose-stepped through the second chorus of her performance (bye-bye to the German vote) and squealed the legend, "Oh my God, it's a golden shower" on a live broadcast to 120 million people. And she didn't get through. Her reaction to this was truly in character, and the constant reaction to her proved that Europe still didn't get the joke.

She is truly a modern marvel. Ignore the Greek talking and watch an Icelandic woman continue to insult most of Europe:



Forget Finland and their Freddy Kreuger masks, 2006 was the year of the Night.

Your chance to help...

Every year, in many countries around the world, people are denied basic rights. The rights to express their opinions, the right to make themselves heard, and the right to vote. Often this results in terrible tragedies and fails to bring the necessary results to those who really deserve it.

This year you can help. If you are one of a select 38 countries in Europe, or if you live in Israel, you can make a difference and change the future. Around the world many individuals will have to forego their involvement in an important decision making process that takes place not once, but twice this week. If the result on Thursday is flawed, there is but one more chance on Saturday to reach an appropriate solution.

This year I am one of those people. And I urge you, with all your televoting power to vote for Iceland and to vote for Sweden on Thurday night. Last year was a travesty of humongous proportions with Iceland not making the final and then Sweden losing direct entry to this year's grand final. The Eurovision Song Contest needs you. Silvia Night and Iceland needs you. Carola and Sweden needs you. And on Saturday Texas Lightning and Germany will need you. One extra vote for each of these countries could stop the horror of a boring faux-ethnic ballad or a two-bit by-numbers-euroturd winning the contest. Remember Eimarr Quinn? Remember Dave Benton and Tanel Padar? Remember Marie N.? No. No one does. Let's make it a year to remember. Vote wisely, vote carefully and DON'T VOTE FOR ROMANIA and DON'T VOTE FOR BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA!

And if this hasn't helped you reach your decision, think of the poor weeping children and abandoned puppy dogs. Only voting for Iceland and Sweden and Germany will help them now. If you don't vote for Iceland and Sweden and Germany those poor children will cry harder and longer and those poor puppies will sleep on roadsides forever in fear of bad things that can happen to puppies on roadsides.


Silvia Night for Iceland


Carola for Sweden


Texas Lightning for Germany

One of these three must win. The Eurovision Song Contest semi-final is this Thursday at 8pm (UK time), 9pm (CET) and the Grand-final is on Saturday at 8pm (UK time) and 9pm (CET). USE YOUR VOTE!

PS Japan was really boring last week other than a night in Joyfull with NP and Adam on Thursday and a villa trip to Takebe on Saturday. Nowt else to report...

Golden week part 2.

On Friday Eugene, Yuko and I wandered the streets for 6 hours on our way from Yotsuya to Ochanomizu and then onto Ginza and Shinbashi. This is a Fujiya cake shop. Fujiya is a famous chocolate company in Japan and it has cafes and shops in all big cities. But this one is the only one on the country to sell Peco-chan yaki. Peco chan is the cartoon girl. They make pancake-like cakes in moulds shaped like her head and fill them with custard, chocolate, anko (red-bean paste) and all sorts of other delicious things. Despite the fact that the cake looked rather demonic and creepy, it made me cross-eyed with anticipation...

Here Eugene and I are pretending that the funniest thing we can see is not my hairdo. We only had a short time to pretend this as we were soon shoo-ed away from sitting on the temple steps.

Another day, another festival. During our walk we saw lots of people carrying various different mikoshi (ornate casks with carrying poles) through the streets. Yuko asked one group what it was about. They replied that they were taking the mikoshi to a nearby temple, but had decided to take the thing into any building they could to spread the festival spirit. And with this drunken logic they entered yet another office block which was no doubt empty for the holiday and attempted to raise the roof with shouts of "oiso".

As if it came from a different continent, the architecture of the Russian Orthodox church really stood out in Ochanomizu. It was closed, so we couldn't raid if for lead and gold. Next time I promise!

We were meeting Yuko and Eugene's friends and we ate opposite this yaki-niku place which was under the railway arches (our place didn't look so interesting). We had stray cats running between our legs, the shinkansen running on top of the arches, and booze-a-plenty running through our veins. Which explains how we ended up in karaoke again. And possibly also explains how, after karaoke and on the metro back to Yotsuya, I was dancing up and down the carriage in the most obnoxious of fashions singing the choruses (chorum? Chorii? What?) of old Japanese pop songs (TRF we love you!) and trying to get a response from the staid Japanese on their way home.

Saturday was a fairly quiet day. I met Jaco and Junko in Ikebukuro for the first real buffet meal I've had in Japan (and ooh, it were gorgeous!). Afterwards we headed back to Jaco's place and on the way I began to understand why the Japanese have to be small and slim...

Sunday was the final day of the break, but as my bus wasn't until 9:15pm I had plenty of time. So as the rain cancelled the planned picnic we all went to a restaurant near Shinjuku-gyoen (Shinjuku park) to meet Yuko's friends and eat. After which we wandered the shops and Yuko and Eugene took me to all the best places, specifically the fancy tea shop with all kinds of posh fragrant teas and the chocolate shop in Isetan. Now Isetan is the most expensive department store in Shinjuku and has a chocolate shop to match. It is chilled- a low temperature is permanently maintained. One half of it is a cafe which only admits a limited number of people so as not to raise the temperature and damage the quality of the chocolate. The other half is the shop with retardedly expensive chocs. Which I, of course, had to buy. So favouring the dark chocolate I spent over 1000yen on 100grams of chocolate. Oh dear. And as they wrapped it they put in a little ice pack to keep the chocolate from melting, and I had a two hour countdown to either a) get it in the fridge or b) eat it. Guess which one I chose? You've guessed it. 20 minutes later we're in Starbucks noshing on posh choc and believe me you could tell the difference in the texture and the taste. When I become a squillionaire I shall reinstate Brown Food Friday and will eat only posh choc.

Silence isn't Golden...

but last week was. It was Golden week here in Japan and it saw people doing a variety of things. Some people decided to give something back (Nickname Pending went to build houses for orphans in Cambodia, Ashley and Neil did a cycling marathon for charity), some people went back to the land (Adam worked at an organic farm for a week) and others went to the Japanese outback (Bob, Amy and Herb went camping in Shikoku). And me? Oh dear. I went back to the shops.

Having taken the nightbus on Monday night, I arrived in Tokyo on Tuesday morning looking worn-in but slightly startled. I was staying with Eugene and Yuko but for the first two days they weren't going to be there, so I had opportunity for carefree wandering. And despite the weather being not up to much I still managed to wander round the streets for 6 hours (half an hour of it being lost around Shinjuku station). The flower above, another example of a prettier-than-sakura flower, was in Hibiya Park near the Imperial Palace. I then took on Ginza and bought myself a rather expensive toy (because I'm worth it). The evening was spent in a gay bar dancing to dodgy pop music (including the legend "I wanna kiss kiss Jesus bidy and soul") and fending off an over-enthusiatic Vietnamese with the words, "rape, much!"

People say the city is limiting and there are no options for outdoor activities. Poppycock! Asides from hours worth of walking you can always go rowing by the expressway...

Ooh, look at me getting busy with photoshop... These rather splendid gates are from the other palace- presumably the holiday residence just 20 minutes walk away in Akasaka. And look at the artistic/ autistic (you decide) view through the gate. None of it looks Japanese to me...