Surprise sur-bloody-prise

Drink, drink and more drink. That's what Japan is made of. Or at least that's how it seems sometimes.

Having finished the week of elementary school, and being very tired, I had to go on the celebrating trail. I never really know what it is we're celebrating though. My Junior high was out on Friday at a chicken restaurant. It was good fun. I always struggle with what to say to the teachers because my Japanese doesn't stretch further than "I would like a return ticket to..." and "My hobbies are..." And you can only repeat your hobbies so many times before it gets boring. But the alcohol flowed (as usual) and the food was challenging to say the least. When we first arrived, there was nothing but meat and meat and, ooh, what's that? Potato wedges! So I filled up my plate before informing everyone that my ma is Irish and that the Irish are famous for potato cuisine (whatever that is) and proceeded to eat. Then they brought in the sashimi, so I tucked into that. Thinking I was getting drunk very quickly, I decided to eat more, and reached for a plate of salmon nigiri (sashimi on a rice ball). "Tastes a bit odd," I thought, but hey, I need to eat. So I had another. And as I popped a third into my mouth, the English teacher sat next to me said in Japanese, "now, what are you eating?" to which I replied, "salmon nigiri." She shook her head. Eh? "Raw chicken", she said. "Pardon?" "Raw chicken- see you can eat meat!" As my stomach began to turn to jelly and acid and the standard carrot chunks, I informed everyone at the table that I hadn't eaten meat for 12 years (not strictly true, but I couldn't explain eating a mouthful of turkey every Christmas in Japanese) This was met with cheers of "wasuremasu [forget it], sake deshita [it was salmon]". Well, after the restaurant we went to the karaoke we'd gone to before, and -yay!- my favourite teacher (who'd left the previous week) came. She's hilarious and really good fun, even though she only knows a little English. More boozing and much singing followed, and a good time was had by all.

Saturday was another day for visitors as Fiona and Claire came from Okayama. Claire had stayed at Johanna's on Friday, so we met for lunch and went to a Katsuyama cafe called Te-a. And we ate (surprise sur-bloody-prise) italian food. It was bloody lovely though. Fiona joined us and I showed them the sights of Katsuyama (the non-covered 'covered shopping street' and the temples) before we went for a party at Johanna's where the guest of honour didn't show, largely due to the interference of another individual who we've decided we don't like. And poor Christine is slightly stuck in the middle. Although she's put herself there really. A banquet of good food and more booze led to our returning to the Outback bar in Kuse for another obscene performance from drunken Japanese people and drunken westerners (ie us). Although why we trying to show Japanese people what bump and grind was I really don't know.

Sunday was the day of recovery, and involved eating anything we could lay our hands on (although that may a perfect example of the royal 'we' being used), watching 2 films ('Snatch', which was ok, and 'Dumb and Dumber', or 'Mr Dumb' as they call it here, which was hilarious).

Monday was another interesting day. My first trip to a Japanese doctor. I have been itching for nearly four weeks now and it's bloody irritating. So a teacher took me to the doctors. On the way she showed me where the Samurai House in Katsuyama is, so I have to visit there in the future. The doctor's was bizarre. His office was next to reception. A connecting door was open so the receptionists could see in. Two nurses peered at me with a kind of dull look in their eyes. My teacher explained what it was all about and then left the room so I could show the doctor examples of where I'm itching. And the two nurses and the two receptions looked on! I was like, "er, my arm itches, and my thighs, and my legs". So I pointed to the areas. I thought, sod that, I'm not taking off any clothes with this audience. Which is probably why I have a completely ineffective cream now. Hot damn.

Anyway, monday night was the Board of Education staff party. What a mistake. I joined in and we went to a yaki-nikku restaurant. They ordered me a plate of seafood which was very nice of them, but they really shouldn't have bothered. Really. If I ever see octopus again I will either collapse in a heap or scream like a maniac. Or both. You have to cook your own food on a hotplate. Well, between the octopus, the prawns and the scallops I managed to give myself a spot of food poisoning. I always assumed if your drunk enough alcohol it would kill anything like that, but despite my best efforts on Monday night I woke up with a rum tummy on Tuesday. Other highlights of Monday included various younger staff members (male and female, aged 20- 28) wandered round talking about 'breast festival' and imitating other obscene acts. I spent all my time feeling hugely unimpressed and hugely drunk. Onto the karaoke, where the head and the deputy of the office were greatly entertaining (the head is a very funny man, and fortunately is not obscene). I sang some new karaoke songs without anyone pressing the cancel button and we drank more. After karaoke it was on to Kats bar for one drink before heading home in a heap.

Tuesday was spent tracking down texts for students to read in the speech contest next month, and the evening was our English conversation class. We forgot to do anyplanning again. Very naughty. We have a 2 week break from it now, so we should be able to plan something in that time.

Today? Well, today was fairly quiet too. I'm just hoping my stomach will settle down soon and this itch will stop. I am beautiful, no matter what they say...