All change!

Well, it's 2006! Exciting! Fresh! New! What's the best way to start the new year? If you choose to follow my life-plan for a lethargy and booze filled new-year there are some easy steps you need to follow.

1) Manage to scupper all plans for going out on New Years Day and end up not leaving the house.
2) For the rest of the week: Eat everything you see (except for the wallpaper. If you eat the wallpaper you've got a syndrome. Get to the doctor's NOW!)
3) Drink. Drink like there's no tomorrow. Drink so much that there may well be no tomorrow.
4) Hand over cash, credit cards and debit cards whenever asked without question. It's only money!!?

This summarises the last week. A scheduling nightmare was avoided although no time was allocated to make phone calls. Indepent investigations are ongoing, and this will be included should such a schedule be required again.

Monday the 2nd of January was planned as a 3 visit day, but due to Megan's bad hangover things were changed and I ended up meeting Mandy in Oxford St for shopping and coffee and self-help tips (how to get your man, how to lose weight and eat healthily and why he just isn't that into you). We went to meet Megan and give her birthday presents and ended up eating and drinking more in a pub in Herne Hill, and a few pints later I was slightly smashed and on my way back into town to meet Mark on Oxford St (the centre of my London life). We headed to Old Compton street and hit up a few bars (Friendly Society, Village) without actually hitting anyone (that wouldn't have been popular) and after catching up and drinking some more I was staggering back to the tubes for that perfect last-train experience.

Tuesday was half family day, half drinking experience, although you could argue that visiting Romford increases your desire to drink and that therefore it wasn't my fault. Ma and Pa and I headed out in the rain to visit the sales in Romford and had a good wander round the shops and a big Pizza Hut buffet lunch. I managed to avoid the sale racks in H&M, being drawn immediately to the full price merchandise (being high class as what I am). But then full price in H&M is still only barely above jumble sale prices.

The evening was spent satisfying my desire for Japanese food as I met Paul, Kasumi, Juliette and Kay and we visited TenTenTei, a marvellous Japanese resturant in Soho where Kasumi and I gorged on Sashimi and she asked the million dollar question- does it taste as good as in Japan, and I could answer like a knowledgeable man/ smug buffoon "oh no, in Japan it is much tastier." It was true though, but it was still gorgeous. And after dinner we hit the pub- yay for drinking- and talked about Japan and Christmas and holiday plans. A lovely evening. And thanks again Juliette for the big box of Thornton's choclits (I inhaled them in approximately 15 minutes. Mmm)

Wednesday was another busy one with a quick trip to my last job to say hello and then lunch with glamorous Silvana. This was noteable as we actually managed to not drink alcohol (very rare for a meet-up in this short holiday) and we talked about plans for the future, chemical hair straightening and men. All the important issues. And then I headed off to Lyn's to catch her before she starts her trip to Australia (very exciting- I am just slightly jealous) where I was surprised by a visit from Christina. It was like the Benetton family reunited once again. After clearing her out of cakes and biscuits I buggered off back to Ilford to meet Neil, Rachael, Roland, Katrina and Simon in Jono's an Irish pub (which doesn't seem to have an Irish theme, just Irish customers) and guess what? We drank. Quickly. We had to- we were going to a Lebanese restaurant where they didn't serve drink. Through the course of the meal I was offended by the fact that no-one liked Girls Aloud ("bunch of slags" was the term used if I recall correctly), Simon was offended when I stated the Take That reunion was better off without that *insert expletive* Robbie and Katrina was offended when we all said Angelina Jolie was way hotter than Jennifer Aniston. After eating tonnes and having the usual laughter-filled conversation about Stephen Hawking it was time to go. Boo!

The shopping continued in earnest on Thursday with a family trip to Bluewater for me and Ma, John and Sarah and baby Amelia (who was amazingly good and didn't cry the whole day- and it was a long shopping day). It was a day of great company and good bargains as I found out that Monsoon sold men's clothes and proceeded to buy half the store (kindly assisted by John and Sarah who bought me a lovely coat for my birthday). Ma treated us all to lunch (which, of course, was big) and Amelia gurgled and cooed through most of the shops.

That evening I headed back up west to -you've guessed it- Oxford Street to meet Rachel for a drink and a bite to eat where once again I ended up sloshed and she told me she also didn't like Girls Aloud. Boo! But we had a great night and I regretted not putting my finger to lip to cover my crater like cold-sore when I asked someone to take our photo.

Friday was my 30th birthday and it marked the first time I organised a do for myself. It also marked a new benchmark in gluttony as after a breakfast of chocolate and crumpets it was soon time for lunch and we headed out for a family meal to the Terrace, a very nice but expensive restaurant in Hornchurch. I hadn't been planning a three course lunch, but it was sooo delicious. Squid, swordfish, lemon torte... Mmm... But with only 3 hours between meals I was wondering how I'd fit the Turkish in later. And I needn't have. Meeting Mandy, Lizzy, Kofi and Emily on the way we were soon at Grand Bazaar on James Street (near Bond St tube) with Megan, Matt, Eugene, 2 of his Japanese friends and a very swish looking Verity. It was great to see Emily again- she is always well-turned out and funny, and Verity proved worthy of her umpteen nicknames (although she too doesn't like Girls Aloud. What's wrong with you all?!) The food at this place is gorgeous, served in big, big portions and more than reasonably priced, so we gorged again. And then headed on to Revolution in Soho (very expensive bar) where we would meet Kofi's girlfriend who was also celebrating her birthday, and my friend Mark. After a few drinks I was once again sloshed and people started heading off. Mark and I walked Verity to the tube station and then headed to GAY bar (hmm, what type of bar is that?) where we drunkenly danced to old pop music and sneered at a fat bird who kept getting in the way. And the only way to folloow that is to head to GAY club (hmm, what type of club is that?) where we danced to old songs and I demonstrated my lack of cool by preforming accurate dance routines for Whigfield's "Saturday Night" and also "the Macarena". We left at 2 as I had a long bus journey home (1 hour 15mins on the bus and then a half hour walk- boo! But I had a good 30th birthday and strangely feel no different to how I did when I was 29...

The last full day of the holiday was spent buying souvenirs in Ilford and then heading to Megan's for dinner with Megan and Mandy before going to watch that gay cowboy film ("Brokeback Mountain") which was actually quite depressing and tragic. But dinner was great and it's been ages since I've been to the cinema. And after rushing to get the tube back to London Bridge I took a leisurely stroll around the City of London (ie the financial district) and took lots of photos of buildings to cement my tourist status.

Sunday was spent packing and visiting Sarah, John and Amelia and flying back to Japan. Boo! but Yay also. A bit. I miss you all, so bloody well email me!