Panic stations! Panic stations! Storm Warning!

Yes, there is a big typhoon coming, but that's really not the issue right now. I HAVE TO START TEACHING THIS WEEK!

Lord, oh lord, I've been having such a good time I'd kind of forgotten about the teaching aspect of things. I thought I was here to entertain the locals, have strange curly hair and impress people with my use of chopsticks (and there has been much talk of that). But on Thursday I (finally) met with the English teacher from my Junior High. She was very nice and very informative, although given my sudden inability to think of questions if she'd simply said "hello" I'd have thought it wondrous. We discussed the first lessons, and how neither of us knew when they were being held as it's sports festival soon (oh joy of joys) and the kids are preparing for it. It's a really big deal and they spend their summer holidays coming into school and preparing as well as doing homework. If a British child complained of boredom in summer and you suggested they went to school, you'd be up for child abuse (and the action would be brought by the teachers). Well, I was shown around the school and you'd think I was Ronald Macdonald (or someone less sinister) the way the kids were laughing. Literally dropping to the floor in fits of laughter. I thought my skirt was tucked into my knickers, but I knew this wasn't the case as this was a Thursday and the women's clothes only come out on Saturdays. Anyway, in my state of dumbness I forgot to ask the important questions (such as "how many pairs of indoor shoes do I need for school?", and "do I need to wear a tie?") and ended up volunteering to do the whole first lesson myself. And it's supposed to be team teaching. There's no 'I' in team. But then the Japanese pronounce 'i' as 'ee', so that line wouldn't wash either.

Friday was even more traumatic. I had barely slept the night before, so I was tired anyway, and when I switched on my computer in the morning to find the internet was not working, I nearly had a Princess Diana moment (except there were no stairs in sight, and no-one would understand my cries anyway). At 10 am my supervisor announced that we would visit one of my Elementary schools. The first school was quite a relief. The English teacher had a clear idea of what she wanted to teach in each lesson and gave me copies of her plans. After this visit, my supervisor asked if I'd been to Tomihara Elementary school, and I said no. So we went there. And it was difficult. The English teachers looked alarmed and wanted examples of games I would play with the children. I could only think of Simon Says. This is too hard it seems. Damn.

The headmistress of this school is lovely and always tries to talk to me, and I do my best, but given that my knowledge of Japanese is probably comparative to my knowledge of Premier League Football (actually, no, it's not that bad) I usually reply to every sentence with "sumimasen, wakarimasen deshita" ("I'm sorry, I didn't understand"). But she still smiles and even offered me a shoe horn as we prepared to leave. I felt obliged to use it, and fortunately remembered when I handed it back to her that I should place the end I'd held in her hand rather than the foot bit.

So picture this. It's half past four on Friday. I have to go to the post office, and I have to phone my internet provider before 5 because English language support is only offered during normal working hours, and I'm starting to panic about all the lessons I have to prepare (and I need the internet urgently to prepare the lessons). And we start to drive back to the office. Suddenly my supervisor utters the words of terror "have you been to Katsuyama elementary school yet?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. And as the panic grew in my mind and I prepared myself for being at Katsuyama elementary school until about 8pm, I just thought, there's nothing I can do, and remembered my new mantra "suck it up and move along"... It turned out to be the shortest trip of the day and the staff were lovely, and although my Japanese is not that great, I certainly knew what was going on when one of the female teachers said something, which led to the principal asking me my age and then turning back to the female teacher saying "shame" at which point everyone laughed. No loving for me then...

Well I made the post office (the counter closes at 6) and spoke to a Dutch (!!) person on the internet help line (it turns out they are open later, you just need the right phone number) and after 45-50 minutes, managed to get the internet going. So by the time it came to going out, I was relieved.

In many ways the day turned out to be a success (I think I'm hanging around with too many Americans because I seem to be getting very positive about certain things. This has to stop) because as I met with Christine to go to Johanna's, I realised we actually do get on well and will be good support for each other through the year. Johanna had made our tea (sushi, veg and plenty more) and we soon ended up at Kuse's no. 1 Australian bar, the Outback. Well, it's Kuse's only Australian bar, but it's damn cool. They played hip-hop music and everyone was really friendly and they had gin. Some Japanese guys came and talked to us. Apparently they were in the middle of a tequila night. One of them spoke more English than the other two. He introduced his two friends, telling us that one of them was gay and the other one's name actually meant expletives starting with the same initials as 'football club'. At this point I knew he'd learnt English from a British person. It was moment of pride. They eventually wandered off to play darts and we drank more, harrassed RayVon on our fancy mobiles (I have figured out how to use the camera and have been photographing everything from frogs to pub signs. As you do.) and eventually staggered home via taxi and Lawson's. And then I did what every good drunk does and got on the phone to England. Oops.

Today has been good. Got up late and was given a lift to Kuse by an old Japanese lady who offered when I tried to buy a bus ticket (I used my usual lines of conversation such as 'Katsuyama is beautiful', 'the mountains are big' and 'the weather is hot'- thank god Chika san taught us adjectives or I'd be stuffed). Johanna and I walked round Kuse and found a really cool, cheap clothes shop (complete with second hand 70s clothes). We had sashimi for lunch and met some more Americans. And after some more shopping, I went home. Noodles for tea followed by weird telly seems like a fitting end to the day.