Imagine the shock on Monday when I witnessed scenes only fit for late night TV viewing RIGHT OUTSIDE MY FRONT DOOR! Grasping together and in the throes of passion I knew what she wanted, what she intended. She was going to kill him and eat his brains. This was no voodoo ritual, this was no desperate mental illness. This was pure, inate evil driven by a centuries-old hunger. And I was witnessing the start of the event. The look in her eyes was truly terrifying- a blank grey stare, as cold as Sharon Stone and as calculating as Casio. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it as it's been much too traumatic for a delicate soul like me to handle, only made worse by the fact that the perpetrator and possible future victims keep lingering outside my apartment. I could open my front door at any moment to scenes of death and gore too terrible to describe.
Damn these preying mantises (manti? Mantees? Mantiseseses?) I don't want to see their bloodthirsty lust in the morning, the evening or at night...
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