Contaminated?

Big news in Britain now is the case of the Russian ex-spy who has died after being poisoned with pollonium, a radiactive element, at a sushi bar in London. "Gosh!", I thought. "Sushi!", I thought. "Yum", I thought. And then realised. "oh!" I thought. And then I didn't think again. Until today when I ate sushi from Itsu having had to calm my boss's nerves before we tucked in (not only were we eating at Itsu which is clearly death-defying, but we were also risking life and limb by trakking to Canary Wharf, the home of many a paranoids' terrorist attack nightmares). Not that sushi really has anything to do with anything, but this morning I woke up shattered, having had a horrendously active dream which left me wondering if I too had been in someway contaminated.

And, Lord!, this dream was a belter.

I was on holiday in South America (which looked rather like Tokyo) in a swish hotel (radioactivity-free may I add). I was walking down the street with 2 friends I've not seen in 10 years, when I spot a group of troublesome sorts behind us. So I quickly dump my wallet and keys on a drinks stall outside a convenience store (this would be safe in Japan) and then the group kidnaps me but kindly lets my 2 friends come along. As they dump me in a disused pool (billiards) room, I tell Graham (school friend) to call Sanchez (??) to pick up my wallet and keys, and, as he leaves, the gang starts boasting about how much money they've stolen from my 4 (??) bank accounts using my debit cards, and I laugh, "yeah, right!", in the knowledge that Sanchez (who? anyone?) is taking care of them. So I escape and run back to the plush hotel which now seems to be possessed by evil things. And my parents are there too, but fortunately we're in separate rooms. It's very fortunate, because in the next moment in my dream I am experiencing night paralysis, and a Japanese samurai is on top of me, attempting to molest me and I am protesting (yes, I was surprised too), but it finishes after a small tussle (no change there then). Straight away I'm on the phone to reception to report that I'd been kidnapped and subsequently had an attempt made on my modesty by a ghost (??) but reception aren't answering, so I sunter down to reception (which happens to be full of business people and rich folk having meetings) and make a show of myself by berating the staff for not answering my phone when I was making a cry for help. And all the posh folk and business people start exclaiming that they've noticed funny things going on and within seconds have grabbed their belongings and evacuated the hotel leaving papers scattered and things broken in their wake. Even the staff go. Only I'm left. And my parents. So I go to their room, the atmosphere around me becoming increasingly menacing and strange, and bang on the double doors to their room. Noises come from the room at the other end of the corridor, so I bang some more. My very relaxed parents open the doors. I hurriedly explain to them the need to leave, and they start to pack their bags at which point there is a whoosh and a bang on the doors. White goo starts to ooze in through the gaps at the top and the bottom of the doors. "Hurry!", I tell them, but the goo pushes in. So I must take action. Direct action. I step backwards. Further back. Then run at the door. Fast. Faster. Shoulder forward. BANG! The double doors swing open and the white things lands on the floor. What is this thing attacking me and my family?

Is it the troublesome sorts from earlier back to finish the job?

Is it the randy samurai ghost?

No.

It's a five foot tall, star shaped brie cheese (of course!??). And it's angry. It lunges at me, grabs me (it has arms, hands and a face of course) and we wrestle, until I manage to flip it out of the window. Of the fourth floor. And I watch it fly through the air and splat on the street below, the life draining out of it's piggy cheesey eyes, the soft centre squelching out from within it's crusty exterior.

And shortly afterwards I wake up with the urge to go vegan again.
What does it all mean? (Part 3,982).