BREAKING NEWS!

Here is the round up from our Katsuyama correspondent:

• NATIONAL NEWS: after a complex Japanese/ Spanish / English explanation of how rainy season works, it was decided by the 1st grade teacher, the 6th grade teacher and the woman who is lovely but whose job remains a mystery even after 11 months that there will be NO RAINY SEASON this year.
• LOCAL NEWS: British Assistant Language Teacher Kurisu Koopah is officially talented at English language usage. This was confirmed by a 6 year old speaking at lunchtime to his class. His teacher went on to explain that in Britain everyone spoke English. She was almost correct...
• FLASHBACK: One teacher remembers 10 years ago. But I don't understand much that she says other than there was no rainy season, she was at high school, the water pressure in the taps was really low and the supply was off for most of the time. People would wash their faces in buckets of water. No mention of how anyone washed anything else, so I'm assuming the drought of 10 years ago was responsible for a boom in deodorant sales and a ginormous growth in the ozone hole.
• TODAY'S WEATHER: Sunny. Again. And too bloody hot (33 yesterday!)
• Tomorrow: the strange tale of the old Japanese lady who was bent so far forwards that she spent her latter years peering backwards through her legs.
• And also: Kumi vs. Mukami- an undercover investigation into those New Crown stories.