Friday, March 03, 2006

No sex please I'm British.

This week has been an odd one. Monday's JoyFull trip turned into a big panicky Clash-style "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" type moment, and really much of the week has led me towards the latter (sorry Nickname Pending!) Junior High has been fairly mind-numbing, one of my elementary schools seemed to think I was leaving this week (and didn't seem too bothered- GAH!) and to increase the oddness of what's going on I am being set up with women left right and centre. Nao-chan recently asked LeeJay if I was gay, and LeeJay followed the correct etiquette on the matter and told her she should ask me. So bizarrely Nao chan has started giving my keitai email address to lonely women who eat their feelings and seem to want to spend their evenings bombarding my mobile phone with messages about food. Which is mildly alarming but good Japanese practice. Wednesday night, which was possibly the getting-to-know-you stage of the email relationship, had involved 7- SEVEN!- emails about food and a wake up email on Thursday morning (at 7:30 am, which fortunately didn't mention breakfast). Nickname Pending is now performing the role of temporary beard while I deal with Nao chan and the Gay issue, and she was very useful in fending off emails last night as we watched a very odd Japanese film at hers. Thursday night's follow up went as follows:

Email 1: "What have you eaten today? It is croquettes at my house."
Response: "Today I ate chocolate for dinner. Now I am at my friends house. She lives in Kibichuo"
Email 2: "Your dinner was chocolate?! You're in Kibichuo?! Do you have a car? Take care driving home. It's snowing heavily again."
Response: "..."

It is very difficult as I don't want to be rude per se, but given my Japanese is limited to statements and excludes any type of comment that involves subtlety, I have very little choice other than to not reply. I think. If you have any pointers please assist as my "burn in hell" points are on the rise again...

And as if one emotion-eating non-girlfriend wasn't enough, next Thursday I am going to dinner with my apartment building's caretaker and her friend who wants to "be my friend". I find it all a little strange. And I think I have good reason given the staff parties I went to in the first year of being here where questions revolved around girlfriends and marriage (and buresuto fesuchivaru) and where available women were sat next to me or across from me with everyone watching and listening...

And this has all been strange enough, but it's not been all. Together with the final day of filming for mine and Tara's TV special on local TV, and the fact that I have yet to select the theme tune that is supposed to play as I walk through the doors to teach a group of business men next Saturday, I will probably be glad to escape to the relative sanity of the city and get away from a life that is increasingly becoming like a sitcom for the socially inept.

And it's snowing. Again.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

When will the tv special be on? Will it be broadcast nationally, or Okayama only?

Chris C said...

Ha! I'm completely exaggerating my upcoming fame. It will only be on TV in Kuse. Yes, a small town of 12,000 people. Although small stepd lead to bigger things and such... But I will be getting a copy and plan to make it available to TV companies, ad agencies and modelling agencies as my self-absorption swells to new levels. Me, ME MEEEEEE!!!

sedmikraska said...

theme tune: YMCA? :-P i feel for you, chris. no replies are the best replies, i think...