Kayumi to bai bai

Well, it's bye bye to itching, and it's bye bye to Japan.

The days has arrived, and despite the very short and busy build up I can't believe is is happening. I don't think this will be the end of my life in Japan, I see myself being back here soon. I just need some time away to plan and make it work.

Anyway, in two hours and twenty-five minutes I'll be leaving to catch a plane back to London. It'll be strange being back but there are many things to look forward to- friends to catch up with, being able to buy trousers that fit and are size small rather than large. I have to look for the positive because if I think of the things I'll miss about Japan I'll start to weep again.

See you in England. I'll update on the last few days in Japan then while sobbing into a tissue in as masculine a fashion as I can manage...

We'll be experiencing mild turbulence...

As I said before, I am going back to London on Sunday, but this decision was made very, very recently. Wednesday morning in fact. And I'm quite relieved. Not because there's anything so wrong with Japan, more so because everything has become so muddled and bizarre.

After the walk and the Oprah moment on Friday night, I had decided to stay after all. This meant lots of walking on Saturday to plan, and I emailed a friend about a job I thought would be very easy to get in a very short time. In the evening I managed a 12k run from Yotsuya round the Imperial Palace to Hibiya Park, and back again.

Sunday was spent in the company of Hiroshi and Tomoko, a couple I met at Tiger's wedding in March. They are both funny and cool, and so we headed to a very nice cafe in the trendy Daikanyama area, and afterwards wandered round there and NakaMeguro where we had a drink at a very wooden, rustic type of place. And then we headed to karaoke for a session of Japanese song singing in which I invariably buggered up all the words and either mumbled or substituted the words with, "sumimasen, sore wo wakaranai..." ("I'm sorry, I don't understand this") and other such comments.

On Monday I found out that the job I should have been able to get quickly and easily would in fact be not so easy and would take at least 2 weeks. Boo! But having wandered the streets and eventually remembering to buy the Japan Times and stumbled upon a magic advert- "Wanted! Experienced Assistant Language Teachers for Immediate Start!" OOH! I emailed my resume and was offered an interview the next day.

Unfortunately I wasn't well on Monday night which put me in a bit of a negative mood, but I went to the interview, was very impressed by the woman who interviewed me (who started the company) and must have done something as I was offered the job (part time at a school near Roppongi). So I said I'd let her know the next day and immediately realised I didn't want to be an ALT. Yuko and I went to dinner to talk about this and other things and we pretty much worked out a way I could survive on the low (compared to JET) pay, and then went to karaoke. (I am aware that this statement ends at least 1/3 of all paragraphs in this blog).

But Wednesday morning came and I decided no, I'm going home. Right now everything is too complicated and my Japanese isn't good enough to sort it all out. Job aside, apartments here are a bit of a pain what with key money (usually a fee of 2 months rent which is not returned to you) and deposit (also 2 months rent which you sometimes get back). Plus I threw away/ gave everything away when I left Katsuyama, so I own nothing to put in a new flat. And I have a 2000pound flight home on Sunday which I would have no idea how to deal with if I didn't use it. And my old Board of Education, who purchased it for me, don't speak any English, so I worry that I'd have to pay back a possibly non-refundable ticket. These concerns among others are helping me head home. I am aware that there are probably easy solutions to all of these, but just the fact that after two years I can't deal with them myself is doing my head in!

And I went on a nightbus marathon yesterday back to Katsuyama, and it made me think I am doing the right thing. But I'll save that for another day...

What's the difference between me and the world cup?

I'm coming back to England. On Sunday to be precise.

I'll explain why later- I'm back off to Katsuyama now to see Nao chan and send home all my winter clothes.

Rediscovering your inspiration...

D'oh! It's been a turbulent few weeks of which for the most part Japan hasn't felt like Japan. I've struggled to find my enthusiasm here in what is possibly one of the most exciting cities in the world. This is clearly not right. Finally over the weekend I had an Oprah Winfrey moment and found my inspiration. It was beautiful. And it didn't involve eating.



There are some things that I've always been excited about in Japan. The Tokyo Tower is one of them (and I cannot explain why). Asakusa is another. On Friday night, with Yuko having gone home to Toyota, I went for a very long walk to think. And I started here.
 

I wandered round Asakusa thinking how lovely it all was and how pretty it looked, and then saw all the homeless people and the pachinko parlours. It is really quite sad. The contrast between the day and the night time is startling. SO I trundled off to Starbucks and had a coffee, still thinking about the future. 

Next, I took the train down to Ginza, to have a look at the night time there, and it was an entirely different picture. Throngs of people in fancy clothes spilling out of bars and restaurants. Bright lights and money everywhere. Lovely bright lights. The Fujiya building is one of the best examples, and hugely appropriate as it's a chocolate company. 

Finally I walked back to Yotsuya, and it was on this walk that the spirit of Oprah came to me. I wandered along the streets that surround the Imperial Palace, and turned around to suddenly catch a glimpse of... the Tokyo Tower. And then noticed how nice bits of the castle looked in the night. And it made me think that, yes, Tokyo is special and exciting after all.  

You're playing catch up!

Ah, good old Henry Kelly. I wish I could say I've been going for gold, but I've more been going for static-with-a-few-interruptions. But it's the interruptions that make life a pleasure, so here's a quick round up with some nice photos.


Last tuesday night was spent catching up with Aya, a friend who lived with best friend Megan in London. We haven't seen each other for 4 years, so I was very surprised when she recognised me. And her English is amazing! This was very handy as when I get dazed my Japanese sounds more like an an alcoholic on sedatives...

Well, the night ended up, as all good nights go, in karoake- the first of three nights last week to do so.. 

Much time last week was spent pondering a) what to do today, b) what to do in life and c) what to do to survive the positively boiling weather. In an effort to find solutions to "a" and "b" I ended up instead subjecting myself to the ridiculous weather and wondering round the streets of Shinjuku (which are possibly like the streets of Philadelphia, but without Bruce Springsteen's low growl for accompaniment). On the way I stopped to look at estate agents and flowers, and wondered what many strange buildings were. One of them turned out to be the ministry of defence. It's a good job I wasn't too nosey or I could have ended up in Guantanamo bay. But it was have been the Japanese version with nice toilets.

Anyway, the quiet days were balanced by 2 more nights at karaoke. I feel 3 times shows true commitment, especially as 90 percent of the songs we sang were in Japanese. Yuko and I managed a rather splendid (as in scary) performance of TRF's "Boy Meets Girl", the song that first turned me onto J-pop. It's amazing how you can read Japanese when you put yourself under pressure... 

There are some moments in life when you feel truely catered for. Being a sensitive society, Japan realises that, being a gay and a fish eating vegetarian (also known as "not-a-vegetarian"), I need something special. So they made "Homo sausage- fish sausage". This could spawn many jokes about fish suppers and pork swords, but I know my mother is reading this... Anyway, the weekend was noteable for Tokyo's gay pride event being held. True to form, the rain bucketed down all day and thunder and lightning blitzed through the air. So I stayed in and missed the whole thing. And when I went to a gay bar for dancing and socialising in the evening, I made friends with a girl.

I am crap at being a homosexual. I'd lose my license were it not for the fact that I'll dance on a podium at the drop of hat. 

Jun-chan and I spent Tuesday day at a shopping outlet mall in Kaihinmakuhari, Chiba ken. I resisted the urge to buy pretty things for an apartment I don't have and instead bought teeny-tiny running shorts under that pretence that I am now an athlete and not a fan of skimpy clothing. The day was nice and civilised and good fun. I should have known it wouldn't last. The evening turned into a messy beer fest. Jun-chan and I met Jaco, and his mates Christian and Ben at an "English pub" (a dirty room with pictures of Oasis and football hooligans on the walls) and went to an all you can drink place. We did our best. 

After a rather turbulent evening of drinking where we, er, made friends with (as in harrassed) the table of young Japanese people next to us, Jaco and I boarded a train and I decided it would be fun to go dancing. So I did. In a bar that was largely empty. And whatever else may have happened shall remain untold except that as I wandered home at 4:10 am, still utterly shitfaced, I decided to take pictures of that rarest of flowers*, the marigold. [The symbol "*" denotes sarcasm] 

On Wednesday I continued to ponder the question, "should I stay or should I go (home to London)?" This was made harder by the fact that I was informed on Thursday night that I could probably get a particular job very easily. It would have been an easy decision if the job was hand model, singer or kitchen-appliance demonstrator, but alas, glamour still eludes me. 

Yuko and Mie watch the fireworks from a roof in Urahara (next to Harajuku). This was a party at Yuko's friends' place where I spent the evening in a daze and struggled to muster up conversation. The reason for the party? Thursday night was another summer event in Tokyo with a massive fireworks event in gaien, a big park near Shinjuku. 

The scene was like in a music video. Roof-top parties mid-summer. I kept expecting people to jump up and start formation-dancing, while women in bikini tops and hot pants grind and bump in a dance hall style. But alas it did not happen. Everyone remained civilised. And we went home. 

Signs...

Does it all really mean something? During my time as a nurse I got used to lots of crazed people telling me that everything meant something or other. For example, "my poo streaked the pan" would be interpreted as, "call the Police! Our Janice is going to have a road crash!" when it clearly just meant that someone needed change of diet and a loo brush.

But today perhaps I am seeing signs. Other than road signs. And not like the time when I was in the spiritualist group and certain members would claim everything to be a sign from the spirit world. I once found a curtain pole in a car park which incidentally did fit my window nicely. A friend declared it to be a sign from spirit. I'd rather they sent a handsome, rich gentleman next time. Or at least deliver to my door instead of leaving signs in car parks.

But yes, today (as opposed to yes-terday) I find myself sitting at a computer flicking through various webpages, one of which I am slightly stuck on. It's a Spice Girls medley on YouTube. Everyone who knows me knows I loved the Spice Girls and generally they wished I didn't. However, today it's a sign that all's not well.

I woke up this morning feeling quite motivated. I had a plan of action and had maybe 5 or 6 jobs I was going to apply for. But first, I had an orientation for a job at 10am. They told us about the work place and conducted a first, informal, interview. Well, my enthusiasm switched off quickly. The place looked great and had some great ideas, but it was rather low-paying. And then they informed me that my visa wasn't valid as my sponsorship is by the JET people and I'd have to go through some long, drawn-out rigmarole to get it changed to work for anyone else. And I don't know that I want to be bothered for what amounts to an approximate seven-pound-fifty-pee an hour wage. Yes, there are lots of other jobs, but this place is highly competitive and I don't think my heart's really in this particular line of work.

Although I earned a decent wage, I left JET because I was underworked. Frankly I have no intention of being overworked and earning a pittance. Despite the fact that I may well be modelling sweat shop products and, in this heat, producing enough sweat for a family of four, I don't consider myself sweatshop labour. That won't keep me in CDs and chocolate.

I have a ticket out of Tokyo on 27th August which is 13 days away. If things keep on like this I may well be on it. Gah! Dammit! Someone get me a drink. No. SOMEONE GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE!!

What does it all mean?

For the last few nights I've been having very vivid dreams. Very frequent, vivid dreams. If I wake up in the night, I fall back asleep and into a different dream. And as is often the case for me, they are very weird. Very, very weird.

The night before last, I had 2 such dreams. Indeed, I woke up crying from the second one which only added to the oddness of it all. It would have made more sense to have been crying during the first dream, but someone else was crying in that one, so perhaps it balanced out.

In the first dream I was at what seemed to be a hospital/ clinic, and there was a very, very cute baby there, perhaps 3 months old. So I start playing with baby and then her Mum comes along and plays with her, but is very cold and business like. So a nurse comes and talks to Mum about something or other while I continue playing with baby. So what happens next? Mum picks up a microphone and starts belting out Jazz numbers of course, with style and panache. And as Mum finishes I start hollering and whooping, and so does baby, who has been silent up till now, at which point Mum bursts into tears. She bawls with passion and sadness and the nurse tells me Mum has been putting up emotional barriers to getting close to her baby as said baby only has 3 months to live, and that these barriers are now coming down. This is clearly very sad. So, I leave and who should I bump into outside the clinic? The man who did Kylie Minogue's choreography in the late 1980s. He is quite pleased at being recognised. And then another man comes up who appears to be the same person 10 years later and he denies it all. At this point I woke up.

Then a few minutes later I was asleep again. What I remember of dream number 2 is being at my parent's house, except as these things are in dreams it wasn't their house. It turned out I had just come home from being away for a long time to find out my Granny in Ireland had just died recently. I was given an envelope which contained some of her things and it seemed she owned lots of brand new cutesy Japanese stationery. Now, what a Granny in south west Ireland would be doing with Japanese stationery that I hadn't sent her I really, really don't know. But anyway, seeing this stationery made me start crying, at which point my Mum asks me what I'm crying for, and I say it's because no-one told me I had a Granny in Ireland and I've missed out on the chance to get to know her. And then I wake up gently sobbing.

What does it all mean? All my Grannies died years ago, Japanese stationery isn't remotely upsetting, I have no Jazz singing friends with death's-door babies, and Kylie's choreography is really of no concern to me these days.

Answers on a postcard please! Or in a comment below. Thank you!

Searching, searching, searching...

Well, I decided I would have a job on Monday afternoon and now it's Tuesday morning and I'm not sitting in an office flirting inappropriately with staff whose names I don't yet know, so I think something must have gone wrong.

Hmm, what could it be... (thinks up list too long to type)

Oops. Oh well, at least the weekend was fun. Yuko threw a party on Saturday for many of her friends, some of whom I've met before. It was an all-nighter, except for Yasu-san and me as we both passed out at around midnight. I awoke at 4am remembering that I can't understand Japanese when I'm tired, so I remained mute and slightly docile until everyone fell asleep.

Sunday was a good day though. Everyday here is sweltering, so to actually do anything would involve being awash in your own sweaｔ. Unless, of course, you do an indoor activity. So Yuko and I went to a museum in Ueno to see a special display of Japanese art. The art was unusual in that much of it displayed, other than great skill and ability, a sense of humour and playfulness, and some very interesting styles were on show. And afterwards we took a leisurely stroll home through Ueno and Akihabara, stopping to look in the markets and having some tasty kaiten sushi.

Monday was a very nice day for me, where I went for a run in the sun, finished my CV, bought the newspapers, read them in Hibiya park and checked out the jobs, and then faffed about for a bit researching on the internet. I think today might involve more research and tomorrow might be far more productive. This is the plan. Don't put off till the day after tomorrow what you can do tomorrow is what I've always said. And I think I've always known it didn't sound right, but I can't put my finger on why...

New life alert!

Spot the difference. Both contain a "tsuya", one has an extra "ka" and "ma", while the other has a "ya". Otherwise it'S all fairly similar...
Thanks to Yuko and Eugene for giving me refuge while I kick start my future in Tokyo! 

So here I am, my new life is beginning and I need to find a job and an apartment. Is it wrong that I am spending time pondering my next winter hairdo? 

Still thinking about Okayama. Angry little peach-boy Momotaro graces my table in Starbucks where I take a break from pretending to write my CV... 

And if you were wondering, yes, there are trees and flowers in the city. 

Oh, and there's always lots of pussy at the window... 

This marriage is Over! O-V-A-H! Ovah! (Part 2）

This was bound to be a long tale as I continued to pack in as many packing distractions as was humanely possible (and sometimes inhumanely possible). So we here's what happened in my last few days in Katsuyama. And here's a shot of the town from my ex-apartment block (it's OVAH!) to start with...


 

Friday was another day off school, and thus an ideal opportunity to pack. So I went to lunch with Ando sensei, one of my English teachers, and then spent the evening with Nao chan, starting with kaiten sushi and then... going to karaoke! My last karaoke in Riverside hotel*sob sob*...

On Saturday I made sure I got straight down to packing and spent the day working hard. Except for the bit where I met Nao chan for lunch... However, she did come to help me and managed to deal with the waste zone that was my kitchen, and by 5pm I had not a grain of rice nor a kitchen implement to my name.

Joa had kindly offered to relieve my packing stress on Sunday, so after a day which almost had me setting fire to the furniture I took my frustration out on poor Efi, bolting down the expressway at speeds the speedometer couldn't record. But only because it doesn't register over 85 miles an hour. The company was completed by Joa's Japanese teacher, the lovely Katsuko san and her gorgeous daughter Maho chan. Both were great fun and Joa served us a lovely dinner (with a side of tomatoes for me) and we watched loads of music videos afterwards, Joa and I doing our best to introduce the ladies to international gay culture (Madonna, Kylie, etc).

Returning early on Monday morning I realised I had 24 hours left in my apartment, and thus 24 hours to rid myself of everything unnecessary and give away anything useable. Oji san and Nao chan helped me again and we took a trip to Maniwa Clean Centre- the local waste disposal site where they sort and sift through all your rubbish. Bit by bit my apartment became emptier and emptier, until Kapo chan brought me some relief by inviting me to dinner at Wakaba, so I had a final-night-in-Katsuyama dinner and it was a very good evening. The restaurant gave me some beer as a goodbye present, so we went back to Kapo chan's place to drink it with Shoko chan. Having stretched this opportunity far enough, I went home at 11pm. And stayed up till 2am pulling my hair out and throwing more things away.


Dinnertime 

Tuesday was harder than I expected. After a morning trip to Nao chan's to drop off futons I got down to cleaning. Staff from the Board of Education came to the apartment at 10am to remove everything they own (fridge, gas stove, bins- everything that wasn't mine in fact). They were very helpful and pleasant, but the second they left I burst into tears. And I am not one for crying. I guess it hit me that it was over- the apartment was so empty with not a trace of anything the previous 2 years had borne witness to. Boo-hoo!


My empty apartment 

I felt lucky when she gave me half my deposit back (from renting the apartment), but when Uchino san (the lady who looks after the apartment block) invited me to lunch, I found myself fighting back tears again and had to decline. And when Nao chan came to help I was blubbing again like a maced attacker- loud and ugly. I spent the afternoon popping around the town saying goodbye to people- Kano san, Sakamoto san, the woman who runs the fish shop, the girls in Lawson's and finally Shoko's cafe where I saw Hiroko chan, Kapo chan and Shoko chan.

The evening was spent at Nao chan's. With Papa san and Oji san we had a delicious meal and a few drinks and the goodbyes continued into Wednesday. As the heat soared and Nao chan's pet beagle, Ha-chan, enjoyed his electric fan, we prepared for the off. It was Oji san's 74th birthday that day, and he came round in the morning to say goodbye. Nao chan kindly drove me to Okayama and we both blubbed our goodbyes with promises that we'll meet again soon. I'll make sure of it!


Ha-chan enjoys the fan 

This marriage is Over! O-V-A-H! Ovah! (Part 1）

Well that's it. I've left Katsuyama. I am mildly in shock and everything seems rather strange right about now. The last week and a half has been both marvellously happy and terribly sad at the same time. I've feel like I've packed two months of activity into ten days, as well as packing my life into 2 suitcases, 2 bags and a couple of boxes. Who needs bedding, furniture and kitchenware anyway...




Packing was going to be a nightmare from the start, so I did my best to avoid it at every opportunity. Last monday I had elected to take a day of annual leave so that I could get some packing done and post stuff home, but instead I called Nao chan to see if she fancied lunch and, after a delicious okonomiyaki, Nao chan decided we should go to the Makido caves in Niimi. These marvellously empty caves were the perfect distraction from my hideously non-empty apartment. And after a couple of hours at home, where I shuffled a few papers and threw some cardboard in the bin, it was back in the car to the Tsukida Tenjin matsuri- summer festival where Nao chan and Kanae san were dancing and had tea at Kiyoe chan's. So that was Monday dealt with.


 

After school on Tuesday I headed to Okayama city where I had a goodbye coffee (everything's been prefixed with goodbye for the last fortnight) with Amy and bought a suitcase (already broken- d'oh!). And when I went to pay my expressway toll at Ochiai, the man at the toll booth and I had a 20 minute conversation. I was as stupid as usual when he told me he'd lived in Chugoku for 5 years. Chugoku is the name of the region containing 5 prefectures including Okayama, Tottori and Hiroshima prefectures. It's also the Japanese word for China. Guess which one I thought he meant...

Wednesday was an Oh-my-God I've got no distractions to help me day, so I actually had to pack (although I simply spent my time throwing more things away), but Thursday was my last day at school during which time I did lots of packing related errands and took pictures of flowers and other such important things. And in the evening I managed to avoid packing by going to dinner with Shoko chan, Kapo chan and Jeremy. In an effort to make sure no actual packing could be done we all got drunk and went to Serenade, Katsuyama's terribly dingy karaoke salon where Shoko chan impersonated Ray Charles (or was it Stevie Wonder? Hmm...) and the lady who runs the place told me she loved me. I suspect she'd been hitting the bottle too...


Shoko rocks!