Thursday, December 28, 2006

Disgusted from London.

Dear Daily Mail,

I was disgusted to see the further erosion of Britain's Christian heritage today when I visited London with my parents. My poor parents, who have paid taxes all their lives, came into the west end to see the Christmas lights that I had wildly described to them only to be hugely disappointed. Not only had House of Fraser switched off its Christmas barbecue-party lights display, but John Lewis had removed its illuminated Christmas trees from its shop front. And to make things worse, Debenhams had removed their "Christmas at Debenhams" logo from the shopfront. I can only imagine it is because the word offends someone. I am appalled and disgusted. And also, I am confused.

Please can you tell me whose fault this is? I don't think its the Gays' fault, as they like sparkly shiny things, and Elton John's already had his Civil Liberty so there's no-one else who would need lights in such volume. It seems too trivial to blame it on the Moslems, and what would the pro-abortion lobby want with Christmas lights? Which only leaves two options. Number 1 is, of course, the Eastern Europeans. But the EU doesn't expand until next week, so we can't blame Romanian Gypsies for stealing the lights to sell door to door, and the Bulgarians are all going to Italy anyway, so perhaps it's option 2- those raving loony Environmental protesters who think the world is going to end and that if we continue to eat all the fish and drink all the oil, and generally do the bare necessities for daily living, we'll condemn our children to a lifetime of sandier beaches and warmer temperatures (and this is a problem how?).

Please provide guidance and appropriate moral outrage,

Yours faithfully,

Disgusted from London.

No comments: